If you've seen the commercials for Something Borrowed, you basically know what you're going to get. If you were going to see it or, probably more accurately, if you were going to be dragged to see it, this review will neither sway you nor will it save you.
The Film
Something Borrowed opens at the surprise 30th birthday party of Rachel White (Ginnifer Goodwin, looking more like early season Cameron from House than ever). It's the type of surprise party that probably costs thousands of dollars and boasts more guests than a wedding. In a quick slideshow montage that serves as easy exposition, we're introduced to the main players. There's Darcy (Kate Hudson), Rachel's lifelong best friend, a showboat, and a lush. We also meet Jim Halpert (John Krasinski), who writes novels under the pseudonym Ethan. In the “Ducky” role as Rachel's whipped male friend, he was one of Rachel and Darcy's elementary school pals. And then there's Dex (Colin Egglesfeld), Rachel's former classmate from law school and Darcy's fiancé (they plan to marry in 61 days; observant viewers try to keep track of the time). Although these four make up the bulk of the film, two other significant supporting characters round out the cast. Claire (Ashley Williams) is “obsessed” with Ethan and looked down upon by everyone aside from Darcy for being “crazy,” which seems to be synonymous for forward. Marcus (Steve Howey) is Dex's friend. He looks like the offspring of Matthew Lillard and Jason Segel, wants to nail Rachel, and is the stereotypical slacker/skateboarder/idiot.
After Dex escorts the severely trashed Darcy out of the party, he returns at the end of the affair to find his fiancé’s $2,000 handbag and runs into Rachel. On a cab ride home, she admits having a crush on him. He admits he has a crush on her. And they do it. I don't really think I'm spoiling anything as all of this occurs before the title Something Borrowed appears on screen.
At this point the movie can go several routes. It could be a screwball sex comedy of errors considering the variety of love triangles going on; there's even a private house in the Hamptons where the six of them regularly spend weekends. Or it could highlight the seediness of a scandalous affair that betrays one's best friend and the other's future wife. It could focus on Rachel torn between her best friend and her role as her best friend's fiancé’s mistress. But the film opts for none of the above, choosing instead a surprisingly bland tone that has too many slapsticky moments to be a drama and not nearly enough laughs or attempts at laughs to be a comedy. However, to best describe why this movie doesn't work, let's talk about characters.
Characters
Rachel is a workaholic who is depressed and miserable with her life and desperately wants a man. She also briefly rues taking the career route and not having children. It's a throwaway line at the beginning of the film, but I feel it's worth mentioning. She's the special type of movie workaholic who never actually seems to do any work, goes out to bars often on weeknights, can seemingly get away to the Hamptons every weekend, and can even take two intercontinental flights in two days. She also owns the special type of gigantic New York City loft/duplex complete with its own inner staircase that few low-level, fourth year junior associates can afford without roommates or rich relatives. After Rachel sleeps with Dex, it's practically impossible for her to concentrate on anything or anyone else. It also never seems to truly bother her that she's violated Darcy's trust. Her only struggle seems to involve wanting to get Dex to commit to her and being too much of a coward to force Dex to commit. Darcy, as mentioned above, is Rachel's best friend since they were children. Rachel appears to hate Darcy but, as oblivious as she is, Darcy actually does seem to treasure Rachel's friendship. She also clearly has an alcohol problem, but it's neither played for laughs nor is it treated seriously. Additionally, Darcy is off-kilter and delusional enough to consider the group's condemnation of Claire for being “crazy” somewhat hypocritical. However, despite her selfishness, she's the only one of the main characters strong enough to say what she wants and take it.
Ethan, on the other hand, is the only main character who seems to have a passion other than pure self-interest. Although he has his own motives, for the most part he handles them better and more maturely than the rest of the characters. Although his condemnations of certain characters and their actions might be tainted by his own personal desires, it does not make his assessments any less accurate. Nevertheless, he is also a coward and refuses to discuss his problems with Claire, opting to constantly run away from her instead. Like Rachel, he seems to hate Darcy but will not/cannot stand up to her.
Finally, Dex, a moneyed WASP, plays the important role of staring dumbly, looking pretty, and smiling. He pulls this off to a T. Like Rachel and Ethan, he's also a coward and miserable with his life. He refuses to take a stance, tries to balance both girls at once, and twice invites Rachel to a beach house where she has to watch him and Darcy fool around and listen to the two have obnoxiously loud sex. But he's pretty, so I guess he's a catch.
A side note regarding Dex: At one point in the film, he implies that his mother had severe bouts with depression when he was a child. Whether this affects his attraction to the clearly miserable, practically dead inside Rachel is unexplored.
Friendship
Although Rachel is supposed to be close friends with all three of the characters, Ethan is the only one with whom she seems to have an actual relationship. She has lunch with him (from a place with food that can apparently last off ice for over 8 hours) and talks to him about her problems. Despite his unrequited feelings for her, he indulges her whines and neediness and does not burden her with issues.
But I think that the film's strongest friendship is meant to be the one between Rachel and Darcy. This doesn't work, not even with an out-of-place dance sequence harkening back to a middle school talent show. We never get a sense of why these two people like each other with the exception of Rachel naturally being a submissive doormat. Plenty of people have friends from their younger years whom they have grown out of but cannot escape, particularly with someone such as Darcy. The existence of their relationship is not particularly unrealistic, nor is Rachel's passive aggressiveness towards her pal, but it significantly affects the story when Rachel seems to utterly lack guilt over the affair. Also, although Darcy is something of a self-absorbed bitch, she's not a particularly heinous one. She does not seem to abuse Dex and any abuse she levies on Rachel comes at least partially from Rachel's inability to speak her mind. In some ways, this turns Rachel (and Dex for that matter) into something of the villain, although the film does not treat them that way.
Rachel and Dex's relationship is even more confusing. We see through a series of utterly useless flashbacks that they attended law school together and flirted while studying for a torts exam. He meets Darcy through Rachel, Darcy and Dex accidentally date for six years, and then they get engaged. Yet we never receive any indication that Rachael and Dex have a connection outside of being in Darcy's inner circle. At one point Rachel says that a life without Dex would be unimaginable, which is surprising since they have the chemistry of two people who are just friends of a friend.
The Big Question
RING
With any romance film, the question that must be asked is: do these people (i.e. Rachel and Dex) belong together? The best answer for this film is...“sure, why not?” Rachel is cowardly, self-absorbed, obsessive, and bland. Dex, for the most part, is also self-absorbed and bland but too wishy-washy to be considered obsessive. In real life, that makes up many a typical couple. Average, boring, pretty people leading average, boring, pretty lives. To this end, I'll end by citing to arguably the greatest romantic comedy of all time, Annie Hall
Post Script (the Actors)
Although John Krasinski essentially plays the same role as on The Office, his charm is very audience friendly.
Ginnifer Goodwin seems to have a knack at fitting into the world of the “romantic comedy.” She has the likeability lacking in most actresses currently aiming for the title of rom-com queen including Katherine Heigl and co-star Kate Hudson.
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